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WTF is happening between Zoë Kravitz, Jonah Hill, and The Row?

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It’s giving horny on main

Late last night, Jonah Hill and Zoë Kravitz posted two corresponding carousels to Instagram. 

In the low-lit snaps, made soft by the warm glow of a Byredo candle, Hill is leaning into Kravitz with an arm draped around her shoulder, while she stares insouciantly into and off camera. Yet the presence of an invisible third party is palpable – the Olsen-helmed luxury label, The Row, which the duo tag in both uploads. 

“Modelling is emotionally complex” reads Hill’s post. A cryptic crossword waiting to be deciphered. A nut longing to be cracked. And while the posts have thrown raw meat into the internet’s conspiratorial den, one thing is true: #thisisimportant, as Kravitz hashtagged on her upload. Bella Hadid knows it, responding “very”. And so does Ziwe, who proclaimed the swipe-through “a cultural reset”. 

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Could it be that The Row, which has been quietly stepping up its social media presence (see Kendall Jenner’s recent full-label looks), are now pulling a Givenchy and recruiting Hill and Kravitz as their new muses? It would be a first for Hill, who has become something of a cult style icon – neckbeardy scumbro moment circa 2018 discounted – and old rope for Kravitz, who is one of Anthony Vaccarello’s longstanding Saint Laurent girls.

And although we’re not calling it, the photo set is practically huffing new couple energy. Like you’ve come back from college only to find your mum with a grizzly new beau on her arm – and this one she’d “like you to meet”. 

Both are unfathomably rich divorcees. She (sometimes) teaches pilates. He’s a modern art ‘collector’. They met on some kind of retreat. “You ever heard of KAWS, kiddo?,” Jonah says, taking out a tumbler to pour you a crystalline glass of Mountain Valley, which he has arranged clinically on your mum’s back cabinet. “Damien Hirst – um yeah you could say I know him,” he says, rolling his eyes back at Zoë. Both are dressed in head-to-toe, tonally coordinated, The Row. 

With pundits across social media screaming “hot girth summer,” “bi panic,” and “I wanna be in this sagittarius 3sum”, we ourselves are sadly none the wiser – but whatever it is that’s actually going on, it’s living rent free.